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February 25, 2006
The Circle Of Life
So there has been a lot going on lately here and Ive been doing a lot of thinking. Reevaluating things in my life and coming up with peace of mind. Funny thing is, Ive reconnected with inner feelings and thought patterns that I havent been in touch with for years.
Its funny how life does this on occassion. You relearn everything that you had forgot. How to be concious of the world, be in the world, take care of yourself, understand yourself, and own yourself. Thats what Im trying to do these days.
I started reading a book called The Power Of Now and have to say, although Im only on page 30, its reconnected me with feelings and thoughts that I once had about 8 years ago.
The book starts off talking about the voices in our head. The only difference between sane and crazy people is that the crazy ones let their voices be heard on the outside. Now with these voices, we tend to hear them speak of ourselves as two different people. One being the true self and the other being basically a lie. They determine this by an example of one of the many questions we ask ourselves or relate in our mind to others. "How can I live with myself?". This indicates more than one person is present.
So we tend to ask ourselves questions in our head like "why did my partner do that?" or "why did my boss do what she did?". Well with these questions the book teaches us how to listen when we answer (and we really do answer those questions). We create answers to fit our questions regardless if they are true or not. Most likely the answers we create are false and its wasted to think about them.
This leads to thinking too much about things that "are on our minds". Things on our minds are going to be there and should not take time away from observing whats around us by repeating the same scene over and over again in our heads. An example that I created was when I was turning a corner. Have you ever been lost in thought where you turn a corner and you almost run right into someone. You realize in that moment you were day dreaming and not paying attention. The book helps you become aware of whats happening now and in this present moment. Listening to your body, mind, heart, and feelings.
As far as feelings go, Ive also revisited some old philosophies. I wont let anyone make me feel a way other than the way I choose to feel. I used to live by those rules when I had a few people trying to hurt me in Rochester mainly because I was well liked and popular. I wouldnt allow them to make me feel hurt and I am certainly not going to allow myself to feel hurt by someone I care about. Even if I dont agree with some of the things they have done or want to do.
So my New Years resolution was to get to know people better. Reconnect with old friends and spend time getting to know new friends. So far its all been working out great. I realized in order to become good friends, I have to make the investment. Give the time, do the work, and actually do stuff with people.
The past few weeks have been great. Ive been hanging out with Jay more often as well as Rick and Matt. There are a few others that Ive spent more time with than usual but it seems to be a good group of friends that Im gathering.
Last night I helped Matt at the Powerhouse and Jay came by to hang out too (todays his birthday btw). Actually Matt had told his friend Joey that he would help him with a benefit for AIDS Lifecycle. I told Matt Id help as well. We set up a table, sold shots, met people, and really had a lot of fun.
This is the stuff I want to continue to do and hopefully will live up to my resolution.
As I work on getting back to me, Ive also been trying to redesign my website. I was told my blog was "a love letter to Josh" and realized that perhaps there wasnt enough "me" in there. I mean I think Im pretty good at talking about myself but Im really thinking my website and blog should be about me and my life. I mean it is supposed to represent my world right? Of course, my life does include Josh and therefore Im sure he will pop up now and again.
On to photos: for those who didnt get the link to the beer bust pictures at the eagle, sponsored by Harrison Street Fair. You can check out the link for the Beer Bust
Hope to keep you all updated on progress Im making and my journey through the rest of my life. *hugs and kisses*
Posted by Des at February 25, 2006 08:35 AM
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