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May 04, 2005
I wont confess how much Im enjoying it here
So its 9:16am and I finally am sitting down after several days to journal. Ive been meaning to get around to it for the past few days and Im sure if I had a high speed connection, it would have been done sooner but all those downloads and even checking email makes it difficult.
So here I am day 7. To recap after journaling last, its been hard getting used to. Tough being without a TV, Charmed, having access to email in more ways than just a laptop on a dial up connection. I love my mac and miss it alot more than you could possibly know. I missed having my morning coffee (until this morning).
Finally caffine. God, a whole week without caffine makes desmond a dull boy. This morning Im feeling pretty good about things. The past few days were exceptional (yesterday in particular).
So to fill everyone in on my week, Sunday was a good day. Sunday started with the maypole celebration. It was a celebration of spring in which they call the spirits in all directions and feel the energy to celebrate spring. Ok, there are a lot more details which I dont know but it was nice to be a part of. From what I know and I may be wrong, it is a pagan ritual/holiday where we chanted to songs like "she changes everything she touches and everything she touches changes" and "weave and spin, weave and spin, this is how the work begins. Mend and heal, mend and heal, take the dream and make it real".
They danced, holding a piece of ribbon tied to the maypole, and weaving in and out of each other as they danced around the pole, making the ribbon weave onto the pole like a colorful creation by the workers who have been given a great force of energy. It was nice.
Also, pictures of coffee house are also online. From what everyone tells me (as well as hearing them tell each other), it was one of the best coffee houses in history. I like to think my Josh had a lot to do with it. Their skit was definitely fun (in an S&M/bodywork sort of way).
As for the rest of the week, well Ive come back to earth, so to speak, from city life and all the life there. We tend to forget how much life there is elsewhere. In the forests, in the trees, across the land. So in spite of the bugs, the spiders, the bees, the creepy silk works that land on your shoulder unexpectedly, you still have the deer (although they are pretty to look at, they still scare me as if they were going to eat me alive). The deer literally come within 10 feet of you and dont even flinch when you approach them. There are the wild turkeys which also scare me but are definitely interesting to watch fly about 10-15 feet. There are also humming birds, blue birds, and lots of cool nature stuff.
Being surrounded by all of this made me think "why was I so resistant". I realized that I was so resistant because this was the life I gave up long before Rochester, and it was like going backwards in time to a place I really dont belong anymore.
For those who dont know, I grew up in the country, had my addictions to LSD, Mushrooms, Pot, Crystal Meth, and had pretty much been the party animal, neglecting my life as it went by. I didnt see at that time all the positives in my life and never really had direction. Of course I was 23 at the time and does anyone really have focus at that age?
So needless to say, when I escaped that life (got my shit together so to speak), I never wanted to go back to that life again. Here at Heartwood, Im finding that I can enjoy those things I used to without having that life again. Instead its a life filled with nature walks, community, people who care, and people who believe whats in the hearts. People who dream and people who want to help others. People who see everyone as beautiful and people who have a lot to offer.
So despite the bad, there are many good things here as well (shhh dont tell Josh Im starting to enjoy it a bit).
Ive also been able to get 3 sessions, one by Josh, one by his friend Jana, and another last night from his friend Melissa. I have to say, they were all fantastic in the own way. I really enjoyed last nights session with Melissa. She is definitely one of my favorite people here (although everyone seems so great).
Speaking of favorites, I also enjoy Green who is going to be in the SF area once she leaves here. We spent some time together yesterday while Josh was in class, and took a walk up to the top of the airstrip here. Up on top, you have a 360 degree view of the land, the mountains, and the world for that matter. It was kind of a feeling of freedom and it always brings us back down to earth to realize there is a whole world going on out there and people living their lives, animals living their lives, and the who BIG picture.
It was nice to get a chance to talk with Green about our lives, our historys, and our futures. She is an amazing person and I truly hope she gets everything she desires. She really deserves it.
So today I get to do some packing for Josh while he's in class. Ill pack up some books and clothes, and try and help get ready for Friday morning. Next stop graduation and then back to visit my mac in SF.
Posted by Des at May 4, 2005 09:12 AM
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