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January 26, 2005
Questions & Doctors
Start this off with something I wrote while on my way to work *chuckle*
Questions Without Words
-----------------------
I look.
I see a man
He see me & smiles
He's cute
He continues to look and flirt
Just 2 of us in that moment
Does he have a bf?
Does he care if I do?
Will we meet again on another train?
Will there be that moment once more?
Will we ever speak?
Does he get off at my stop?
My stop is here.
He continues on.
Next day
I see him again, he looks my way
I notice his eyes light up as I notice him
I smile once more, he smiles too
Almost in complete unison
Im at one end, he at another
People obstruct our view
Smiles at every opportunity
Who is he?
does he have a bf?
Does he care if I do?
Id like to know more but rejection is hard.
Will there be that moment once more?
Will we ever speak.
Finally my stop.
I give a slight wave of acknowledgement.
As I head off the train.
Another day without words.
So this evening I go to the doctors. Im finally getting the bump on my head checked to make sure nothings wrong. For those of you who dont know, I noticed this bump several years ago (about 6) and thought it as odd that I had never noticed it before that. Everyone said I should have it checked but I figurd if it wasnt bothering me then it wasnt a big deal.
Its still not bothering me but it seemed to shift and perhaps got a bit bigger. Im wondering if it doesnt have something to do with my being tired more often lately. Ive also been feeling a bit dizzy lately and slightly off balance. Ive been seeing on occassion, things out of the corner of my eye, that arent really there. It could be my neglect when I wear my contacts for days on end without taking them out of cleaning them, but it could be from this bump as well. Or perhaps both are connected in some way.
Either way, I have to admit, Im a bit scared. I mean what if they want to do surgery. This is my head we're talking about. What if they do surgery and I become dull and boring all of a sudden? God that would be aweful.
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The day begins and ends......
So this morning the rain decided to revisit us. Downpours, but this time I was ready with my trusty umbrella. The wind was blowing hard as I walked to the Muni.
As I was waiting on the platform for the train to come, I noticed across on the other platform a man. This man would appear straight in every was except for the wrist. The wrist was gently hanging limp as if a str8 man was mocking the gays. It reminded me a bit of Shaun of the Dead or a cop movie where they had to pose as someone within a specific community in order to infiltrate the group. You know, it was like he was trying to blend in with the rest of the gays. If for some reason he found himself in the gay district and in order to complete his mission he had to pose as a gay man. Comedy? Yes, as he wasn’t doing a great job of it. Reality says, this is the Castro and he was definitely gay.
This morning was a "check transfer" morning on Muni which happens on occasion. For those who are not familiar with this, the transfer pass is the ticket you get when you pay to ride. The ticket is good for 90 minutes and will allow you to reboard or transfer to a Muni bus during that time period. It also acts as proof of purchase.
Now my thought is this. Although there are signs everywhere saying "please retain your transfer as this will be your proof of purchase", so many people don’t bother taking them. Im curious to witness that person who did not take their ticket and is asked to show proof. Ive only been asked to show it about 4 times since Ive been here riding the Muni but could only think how embarrassed I would be if I didn’t have it and needed it. How would the scene play out? They would be fumbling for something they don’t have. They would then be fined and then they would most likely be made to get off the train. Glad I keep my pass.
Ok, so I get off the Muni and now heading to Bart. I hear over the Bart announcement that the Pittsburg/Bay Point train is on a 15 minute delay. This is one of the 3 trains that I can catch to get to work, one of which operates on the same track as the one that’s on delay, however does not go the full length. My first thought was *BLANK* and that I was going to be late. My only hope was 2 trains and one which ran infrequently and was very rare to catch. The other, hopefully wasn’t delayed as well. As I started down the escalator, I heard them announce the Concord train was now boarding. This was the rare one that I could take, so like a bolt of lightning, I shot down the escalator, and made the train. Made it on time with luck on my side. How lucky will the rest of the day be? Lets not forget the doctors later on.
Ok so on to the doctors....
What can I say, it was an interesting trip to the doctors. First Id like to point out that I have never been to a doctors office where I wanted to sleep with so many cute guys. The place was filled with cute, young, gay, men. It was fantastic but I couldnt help thinking "this is my doctors visit. This shouldnt be like this". Then of course the thought "Im in the Castro, of course its going to be like this".
So my doctor turns out is a great guy. He examined the bump on my head and advised me that it was only a cyst. He said he would "remove it there however the head tends to bleed alot and he didnt want the mess". Therefore he was referring me to a dermatologist for the removal. He also referred me again for my icthyosis (skin condition). He prescribed a lotion that is supposed to help so we will see. He thinks my skin will be cleared up before I ever visit the specialist.
Along with the lump on my head (previously known as "My Tuma"), I also mentioned that I was having headaches. He asked a few questions and finally determined they were tension headaches. Caused by stress of course.
So while we are talking and actually laughing (who knew Id enjoy talking with my doctor), he is writing the prescription. After he is done with the prescription for the lotion, he starts writing again. While he is writing and we are talking, he tells me he is writing me a prescription for valium. Ok, Im thinking this is weird as he proceeds to tell me "I dont usually prescribe valium to people without asking questions, but you seem like someone I can trust". Valium, can you believe it? lol... I found out from a good friend, that I should only take half a pill if I decide to get it filled.
Ok, so Im a bit nervous because Ive never taken it before. I always get worried on things like this. I mean, pills? Come on. I know what they do. This is going to turn me into a vegitable Im sure. Last thing I need is to be falling asleep at work which is already tiring enough. Josh is recommending other treatments, which I may just do. Perhaps I need more answers.
He did show me a cool technique to help with the tension. I tried the exercise and it really did help a little. It should come in handy during the work day when I feel the stress building up in the back of my neck.
So thats really all thats been going on lately. Ill try and update soon.
Posted by Des at January 26, 2005 05:34 AM
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