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September 30, 2004
hmmmm
Well I didnt write last night and Im not sure really where to begin this evening. I almost decided not to write again since there really isnt too much going on.
To start with, Ive had the apartment to myself both last night and tonight. Its very quiet and a bit relaxing but feels a bit strange too. I have to learn how to value these moments alone so that I can enjoy them and feel more comfortable and relax.
Yesterday, was an ok day. Didnt really do much but did talk with Josh. We came to the conclusion that everything isnt always what it seems to be. Sometimes simple things can be left out of the communication and create gaps in what we think is truth. Im not sure what he got out of it but I know I have a lot to think about and work on. Its tough trying to make my life easier while also trying to make other people happy. Sometimes things get in the way.
As for this evening, havent done much of anything. I took a 45 minute nap which is quite the change from the 3 hour nap I took last night. Work today sucked and I snapped at *the* woman who has been riding my ass and playing boss. You can only take so much and it was time to snap.
To help you understand this woman, she is the type of person you can imagine as a child, going along with what all the other kids just to fit in. She tends to point out mistakes (and looks deep to find them) and will ask *why?* you made them. If you give her an answer, she keeps asking why? as if she cant fathom why you would make a mistake. As if she is seriously looking at what would make you do it. Unintentionally she is the type of person who tries to make you feel unintelligent, and incompetent. As if she is questioning why you made a mistake. Well Im not the type of person to tolorate bullshit and Im not the type of person to keep quiet. I am the type of person who will get to the point, make it, and move on without a blink of an eye.
So finally this morning I had someone on the phone. I was talking to the boss trying to get a resolution so I could get back to the phone call and resolve the issue. *This* woman decides she is going to stand there and wait to confront me with a silly mistake. After the second *why?* to why I made the mistake, I finally said abrubtly "Is that how its done?". When she went to ask why again, I forcefully said "Is that how its done?". Finally when she answered yes, I followed it up with "I will do it that way in the future" and walked away. Probably not the best way to approach the situation but I dont plan on being belittled especially when the bosses seem to want you to duke out your problems on your own.
So thats been my day. Not the most exciting but still a day in the life. Tomorrow we are supposed to go visit Josh's aunt. He is taking his grandma down to see her in Santa Clara and supposed to pick me up on the way. I have to say, Im always nervous around his family. Its that feeling of "will I say or do something stupid and let them know Im an idiot" type of feelings.
Ill let you know how it goes. Despite the nervousness, Im looking forward to it.
Posted by Des at September 30, 2004 08:53 PM
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